A Golden Halloween
by Silaren
Summary: The girls find out that the house might be the site of a more than 50-year-old murder, housing a resident ghost who can only be seen on the night he was murdered, Halloween.


A GOLDEN HALLOWEEN

_Note: This episode takes place after "Mother Load" in season 7 and just before "Dateline: Miami." Some information might not be entirely correct, so please bear with me!  
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**Plot line:** The girls find out that the house might be the site of a more than 50-year-old murder, housing a resident ghost who can only be seen on the night he was murdered, Halloween.

**IN MEMORY OF THE GOLDEN GIRLS**

_The residence in early afternoon. _

Dorothy is at the stove stirring the caramel for popcorn balls. Blanche walks in, adjusting a portion of her red and black can-can girl costume.

BLANCHE: Oh, for Heaven's sake! Why do they _always_ have to make these costumes so cheap and flimsy?

DOROTHY: I don't know, Blanche, but you do.

_Blanche smiles unimpressed by Dorothy's remark, then continues to fiddle with her costume as she takes a seat where she normally does._

_Rose enters, frowning at a cotton ball in her hand. She's in a bunny suit. Bewildered, she takes a seat across from Blanche._

_Rose blurts out some kind of German again._

BLANCHE: What, Rose?

ROSE: That means, '_I hate this damned costume._'

_Blanche blinks, thinking why ever in the world God gave this woman two legs and feet to walk on._

_She thinks, oh_, _nevermind_.

_Sophia enters wearing a baby bonnet._

SOPHIA: Has anyone seen my rattle?

_Dorothy looks over at her mother._

DOROTHY: Ma, I think we all decided on what to do with it, and the majority won.

SOPHIA: Yeah, but it beat having to take Maalox for awhile.

_Dorothy and the girls just look over at Sophia as she takes her seat at the table. She stares back: what?_

BLANCHE: Is the caramel ready yet, Dorothy?

DOROTHY: Almost.

ROSE: Oh, boy! Caramel covered popcorn!

_Rose snorkels while cupping her hands together in joy._

_All of them just stare at the happy woman. Rose stops._

DOROTHY: Rose, honey, you sound so excited to have something we normally just don't care about.

ROSE: It's just that caramel-covered popcorn was served as the main course every Halloween in St. Olaf. See, Sven always made sure to store up as much popcorn as he could. You needed it year round practically!

_Blanche hits the table and turns to Dorothy._

BLANCHE: Now look what you've done!

_Dorothy and Blanche both calm down._

DOROTHY: Rose, if this is about a one-legged farmer with a schnauzer by the name of Sven Bergindorf, and how he went door-to-door in the name of spreading ghoulish cheer with his wagon of popcorn candy, then we don't want to hear about.

_As she says this, Dorothy cranes her neck and body forward with her spoon in one hand._

ROSE: Okay!

SOPHIA: Boy, Dorothy, you came up with a good one this time!

ROSE: Except it wasn't a schnauzer… It was an elephant by the name of _Lassie_.

_The girls sigh and Rose continues matter of fact._

ROSE: You see, her real name was Lucile. Sven just thought Lassie made a good nickname. Anyway, when Sven was done with his charity work, he just felt _really _bad that Lucile had to go back to Hollywood for her shoots on the set of _Tarzan the Ape Man_. [nods in disbelief]. He really _loved_ Big Lass. - And did you know, Lassie wasn't the only Lassie to appear on Lassie?

DOROTHY: Ah, the missing episode: Lassie Goes to The Zoo?

_Rose enthusiastically nods._

_Before the other girls die of despair…_

BLANCHE: You know, we used to have caramel-covered apples on Halloween. I remember one Halloween, when Jimmy Spencer came over.

_Blanche leans over the table and clasps her hands, a dreamy look on her face._

And he just couldn't resist me…. I mean the caramel apples! He couldn't resist the caramel apples! Oh, what the hell! He loved my candy apples.

_Blanche looks down in unbridled shame._

_Sophia goes to open her mouth, the bonnet costume rising from her head like a white arch._

_Dorothy points with her spoon._

DOROTHY: No caramel for you, ma!

_Sophia sulks back down in her chair._

_A short time later._

DOROTHY: Girls, can one of you watch the stove for me? I'm waiting on a very important letter in the mail. My driver's license renewal got lost and the department of vehicles had to send me another copy.

BLANCHE: Sure, Dorothy!

_Blanche gets up as though she's going to the stove, but makes a 180 to the kitchen door, her heels clacking._

BLANCHE: You'd better get started, Rose.

_Rose winces as Blanche exits the kitchen. She gets up to stir the caramel for Dorothy._

ROSE: You know, this reminds me of the time in St. Olaf, where, on all our Halloweens, we would gather under the _great big _apple tree my uncle Hans had in his backyard.

Sophia rolls her eyes in a _oh-please-do-we-have-to-hear-this-again_? fashion.

SOPHIA: Oh, and let me guess, you bobbed for fish instead of apples?

ROSE: You went bobbing for mackerel, too?!

_Sophia stares at Rose like she wants to let her have it._

ROSE: Well, Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll were singing fish, and we all had to...

DOROTHY, BLANCHE, SOPHIA (_all from their places nearby_): ROSE!

_Rose startles._

ROSE: And then they lived all happily ever after!

_Sophia looks over at Rose mean-spirited._

SOPHIA: And I'll bet for Thanksgiving it was mime turtles.

Rose nods with her eyes wide open and Sophia is hoping to be dead sooner than she expected this life.

_Sometime later that day in the living room. _

_Rose is seated in front of the television set while Sophia is seated to the side near the doorway. Dorothy comes out of the bedroom area toward the front door._

_Rose and Sophia are caught snickering. Dorothy stops._

DOROTHY: What's so funny?

_Rose maintains a devilish grin, looking utterly ridiculous with her bunny ears._

ROSE: You're… you're not going to go out like that, are you?

_Rose and Sophia wail while Dorothy's curious expression fades and she loosens up, crossing both arms. She has black and white stripped stockings on that temporarily show from beneath her costume._

DOROTHY: Pardon me, but they didn't have Death available this year. I figured The Wicked Witch of the North wasn't the scariest on the planet.

SOPHIA: No, but that nose is!

_Sophia and Rose giggle. Dorothy is unimpressed._

DOROTHY: Well, it's Halloween and I'm going to try and be the best witch I can. Just keep your fingers out of the caramel or else, I'll cast a spell on you! - And that goes _especially_ for you, you little bonnet-wearing Sicilian monkey. Now, if you don't mind, I've got to pick up some things before the trick o' treaters come howling up the driveway.

_Later on…_

_Dorothy comes back and finds Blanche seated on the couch talking on the phone. _

BLANCHE: Yes, Mr. Baker. Yes. All right. That sounds divine! I can't wait to see it. Okay, you, too. Bye, now.

_She puts down the phone back on the receiver and turns to Dorothy. She stops, and there's this big grin on her face. She looks Dorothy up and down._

_Dorothy just stands._

DOROTHY: Spare me, Blanche.

BLANCHE: Oh it, wasn't that Dorothy. It just looks so… becoming on you.

_Dorothy sits beside Blanche on the couch._

DOROTHY: Much like yours becomes you.

_Blanche's mouth falls slightly opened as she looks down at her can-can outfit with newfound discovery._

_Dorothy hands something over to Blanche._

DOROTHY: I got the paper like you asked.

BLANCHE: Oh, good! Now I can see what I've been waiting for all month.

DOROTHY: What is so important about today's paper anyway, Blanche? I thought you didn't read the local literature.

_Dorothy looks out at the crowd in wonder. _

DOROTHY: What am I saying? Literature!

_She giggles like she's choking up phlegm._

_Blanche opens up the newspaper._

BLANCHE: This is not just any edition, Dorothy. You remember that article I was interviewed for a couple of weeks ago about the house?

DOROTHY: Oh, yes. Now I do. It was slated to come out for Halloween, wasn't it?

_Blanche nods while turning the pages. She then turns to the section on the house and folds it over on her lap._

BLANCHE: I can't wait to see what Walter's written. Now, this house is a part of history, Dorothy, and not just any kind of history. It's had _years _of richnessbefore George and I ever -

_Blanche's eyes widened suddenly._

- MURDER?!

_They both startle._

BLANCHE: Oh, Dorothy!

DOROTHY: Oh my God!

BLANCHE: I cannot believe this! The Deveraux residence? The site of a legendary murder? - _What?_ Somebody was murdered right here in _my_ house? I can't believe this! George and I never knew about any murders!

DOROTHY: It's got to be a mistake. Let me see that.

_Dorothy moves closer to Blanche and takes the section to read it._

DOROTHY: The Deveraux residence is the site of a murder that happened more than 50 years ago this year on Halloween night. The previous occupants, Gladys and Harold Youngblood, were a troubled, young couple. Harold was killed tragically Halloween night when out for his nightly stroll. The police have never found the murderer in spite of weeding out a solid list from many suspects, including Harold's _own wife_?!

_Dorothy's voice grows louder reading the last two words of the article._

_Blanche nearly faints._

DOROTHY: Every Halloween at around midnight, residents have reported seeing the ghost of Harold Youngblood.

BLANCHE: This is a load of crap, Dorothy! This is _not_ what I was interviewed for! Oh, these damned journalists! Out to take creative license where there isn't any! There has never been a ghost here, not once, _not ever_! I've got a good notion to go down to that newspaper and give that Walter a piece of my mind!

_Sophia walks in, overhearing Blanche._

DOROTHY: Not a word, ma!

SOPHIA: I was only going to say she'd better get out of that costume or she'll be giving them a piece of something else!

_Both girls just stop and stare at Sophia; she shrugs out of guilt._

_Later that afternoon, the girls are carving pumpkins in the kitchen, except Sophia, who is out in the living room. We see three pumpkins on the counter at the center of the kitchen, which are unusually artistic. The first is one Dorothy did for Blanche, which is a Mr. Potato Head like face with a cigar coming out of its mouth. Then we see Dorothy working on a second one - an angry, ghoulish face with sharp teeth; then we see Rose's, a petrified face with an O-shaped mouth that looks like Dorothy's pumpkin is coming to get it._

_Out in the living room by the hallway, Sophia is messing around with a fake spider. She walks up to a string on one of the wall lights, pulls it loose, and the spider comes down on a string. She laughs sneakily and shakes her head._

_Blanche walks into the house all disgruntled now in a red skirt and silk blouse with a black blazer. _

BLANCHE: I can't believe it!

SOPHIA: What? Can't an old lady have any fun nowadays?

_Blanche looks at Sophia in the bonnet holding the string. _

_Blanche snaps out of it and Dorothy comes out with the Mr. Potato Head pumpkin in her hands. Rose follows with the petrified pumpkin._

BLANCHE: Walter, that rat! Can you believe of all days, it's his day off? The paper says it's going to look into his article and find out if the facts are true or not!

DOROTHY: Oh, Blanche. I'm so sorry.

BLANCHE: How could this happen? How could Walter do this to me?

_Blanche sulks onto the couch and Dorothy joins her. Rose sits on the other side. Sophia tries to creep off before the girls can notice she's in the room with them._

DOROTHY: Blanche, I'm sure it's just some faulty research. You know these young writers. They just go with what sounds good. They'll do anything to get ahead.

_Dorothy coldly turns to Sophia, seemingly not to notice the string._

Sophia startles, _what?_

BLANCHE: This house's reputation is ruined!

SOPHIA: That's not all!

_The girls glare at her._

SOPHIA: Ouch!

Blanche begins to sob as Dorothy sets down the pumpkin on the coffee table and embraces her.

DOROTHY: There, there.

_Rose has a sad look on her face. Sophia is also moved. She moves back to let Blanche speak again._

BLANCHE: I was able to speak to his boss. He told me that sometimes newspapers can, you know, embellish the facts... and since it is, well, Halloween, he feels that Walter might have gone and done it again. Oh girls, what am I gonna do?!

DOROTHY: Well there's no doubt about it, Blanche, you've got to go down there and have a talk with Walter. Demand a reprint and an apology!

_Dorothy points to the paper in Blanche's lap._

_Blanche moans in despair and rolls her eyes up._

BLANCHE: I should have known better.

DOROTHY: What kind of moron has the audacity to mislead the public?

SOPHIA: You tell me!

DOROTHY: Ma! You're not helping the situation. Get into the kitchen and start preparing the chicken.

_Sophia mimes Dorothy's bossiness in her bonnet and then heads into the kitchen._

ROSE: I can't believe this! A misprint about a murder? Well, I'll have you know, one summer, Lars van Winkerbonker dropped dead and was said to have come back to deck the hall -

BLANCHE: Rose, I know where you've been hid'in the morning paper. Don't make me get it.

_Rose folds her hands and bites her lip._

DOROTHY: Blanche, there's nothing we can do about it now. The offices are closed for the night, anyway. The only thing you can do now is get some rest and we'll see about getting this mess cleared up in the morning.

_The girls are in the kitchen preparing the evening dinner when the door bell rings._

ROSE: I'll get it! I just love trick-or-treaters.

SOPHIA: Yeah, and if you hurry now, you can be home by ten!

_Rose pushes the kitchen door open and arrives over at the door where a bowl of candy has been set up for the kids. When she opens the door, no one is there. The wind howls. The happy look on her face turns to one of bewilderment and then fright. She closes the door, leaning against it._

_Rose re-enters the kitchen._

DOROTHY: Okay Rose, what were they this time - a pirate, a mummy, a ghost?

_Rose shakes her head. Blanche looks up from her vegetable tray and Sophia turns from some meatloaf on the stove._

BLANCHE: What is it, honey? You look like you've seen a ghost.

_Rose nods. Huge nods._

DOROTHY: Oh come on, Rose. You're not going to believe in some silly rumor.

_Rose nods again._

SOPHIA: Oh, for Pete's sake, get on with it already!

_Rose quickly straightens and sits down at the table. The girls join her._

ROSE: I got to the door and no one was there. And then this sudden chill overcame me. I could have sworn it felt like… like a ghost!

BLANCHE: Who knows, it was probably some kids playing some cruel joke. Remember Liz and Bobby Henderson last Halloween?

_The girls nod in shameful remembrance at some prank. After a moment, they all sit in silence looking at one another._

SOPHIA: Or it could have been the ghost of Harold Youngblood!

_Dorothy casts a disdainful glance at her mother. Sophia settles back down after a somewhat startled look again._

SOPHIA: No ghost could ever scare me, and we had a lot in Sicily, considering the murder rate there. There wasn't a family without one. My cousin Eddie was sharing his closet with a dead guy who owed his family money, Dorothy.

DOROTHY: As usual, ma, you're making it up.

SOPHIA: Once you hear this next story, you'll be convinced.

_Blanche leans on her arm._

BLANCHE: What happened, Sophia?

_Sophia gets starry-eyed and raises out her hands._

SOPHIA: Picture it. Sicily. Nineteen-seventy-three. A man dies in his childhood home -

DOROTHY: Seventy-three, ma? Why so late?

SOPHIA: Because there's only so much room for the early twentieth century in my head, Dorothy. It just happened in seventy-three, all right?!

_They all settle back down._

A man dies in his childhood home, having spent many golden years in it. He was born there. He grew up there. He met his first love while living there. When his parents died, he inherits the house. Later on, his children move away. All through the years, the house often spoke to him.

_The girls begin to grow irate._

SOPHIA: I mean literally. It spoke to him his whole life. And why? Because there was a ghost for each room he alone could see. That wasn't counting the one in the outhouse! His name was Vinny Patrone, and he always gave me _the_ _creeps._

DOROTHY: Vinny Patrone? Ma, Vinny didn't die in '73. He died in '84.

_Sophia stops, obviously dismayed at the date discrepancy._

SOPHIA: Well, Vinny's soul had died. His body didn't. And for years, the voices got worse and worse until he began to treat the house like his own conscious.

All the girls are like _are you for real?_

One day, he was an old woman, the next, a little boy; the next, a young woman ready to be lost in love. The night Vinny died, he merged with the house. That night Dorothy, that night… your father had a dream. He dreamed of Vinny, sad, lost and alone, and he forgave Vinny for taking money from his father.

DOROTHY: Two ears of corn and a bottle of gin?

SOPHIA: That was a lot of money in those days.

_Blanche turns to a frozen Rose touching her arm._

BLANCHE: Why don't we go and watch TV in the front, honey, m'kay?

ROSE: You're right, but I am going to do a…

_Rose again blurts out some kind of German speak._

BLANCHE: A what?

ROSE: It's a spell of protection for the house.

BLANCHE: I don't know. I still think this stuff Walter printed is a load of hogwash.

DOROTHY: And superstition.

_As Blanche and Rose exit the kitchen, Dorothy turns over to Sophia._

DOROTHY: And ma, no more ghost stories.

SOPHIA: Who says I'll promise!?

_The old woman puts out her hands and all the girls just look at her._

_Sometime later, Sophia and Rose are watching movies in the living room while Blanche and Dorothy clean up in the kitchen. Rose gets up and passes the hall to the bedrooms, going toward the kitchen to grab some more desert._

SOPIA: Ah, wait a minute, Rose. You got something on your shoulder.

_Rose stops._

ROSE: Oh, what's that Sophia?

_Sophia goes to the wall and pulls the hidden string. The spider drops onto Rose's shoulder._

_In a wooden tone…_

SOPHIA: Oh, no! A spider! A spider! Ahhhhh!

_Rose dances around the room._

ROSE: Get it off me! Get off me! - Oh! Sophia!

_Rose then dashes into the kitchen. Sophia cackles and shakes her head._

SOPHIA: Always a laugh!

_She throws her head back one last time and gives another great big cackle._

_Dorothy's voice calls from the kitchen…_

DOROTHY: Ma!

_The smile fades from Sophia's face._

SOPHIA: I know, I know! Shady Pines!

Moments later.

_Blanche and Dorothy are in the kitchen still cleaning up. Dorothy is putting something into the refrigerator and Blanche turns to place some cups into the sink. They hear someone ring the doorbell, but Dorothy jumps._

_Blanche stops and looks at her._

BLANCHE: Relax, Dorothy. It's only the door.

_Blanche sets the cups back down on the counter and heads for the front door._

BLANCHE: The last thing we want is for all of us to start believing in this ridiculous ghost thing. Then we'll all be hiding in our bedrooms like Rose.

_Dorothy lifts her head._

DOROTHY: You know, ma hasn't come out, either. I am going to go check her.

_Blanche heads out and gets the door. There are a few trick-o-treaters standing on the porch. They raise their pumpkins and pillow cases._

TRICK-OR-TREATERS: Trick or treat!

BLANCHE: All right, one at a time. There's one for you, one for you, and one for you.

A ghost trick-o-treater looks in his bag and then he looks back up at her.

GHOST: My dad thought you were cheap.

_Blanche scowls but then leans down, angry at first but recognizes the kid under the sheet._

BLANCHE: Is that you little Robby?

GHOST: Yes, Ma'am.

_Beams an self-gratuitous smile._

BLANCHE: Then I'll get even more cheaper next year.

GHOST: You're really old!

BLANCHE: Do you want me to tell your father you've been skipping school every Friday, and that I see you walking across my lawn when you do?

GHOST: No.

BLANCHE: Then get off my porch.

_They all run away._

_Blanche slams the door and then looks down at herself mortified. She plays with her perm self-consciously. Dorothy is standing at the kitchen door with an empty snack tray._

DOROTHY: You look like you've seen a ghost yourself, Blanche.

BLANCHE: You're right, Dorothy. I did. A very short, snotty one.

_They both walk into the kitchen. Blanche stops midway while Dorothy goes back to her snack preparation._

BLANCHE: Dorothy, do you think I look older?

Dorothy cranes her neck in an _are-you-serious?_ fashion.

DOROTHY: Than who, Blanche? Gary Cooper?

_Blanche scowls in embarrassment._

BLANCHE: Seriously.

DOROTHY: Blanche...

_Dorothy contains her laugh._

DOROTHY: I think it's called the process of aging. I think there was something about it on the Oprah Winfrey Show last week?

BLANCHE: Oh, well, he couldn't really see me through that sheet, anyway. For all he knew it could have been either you or Rose. Sophia's too short.

_Dorothy throws the camera a stare, mid cutting the squash._

BLANCHE: I'll have you know I age slowly. Why, at 30 years old, just10 years ago, I won a beauty pageant in Sylacauga. I was Miss Alabama. I drove the locals crazy. They all said I didn't look a day over 17.

DOROTHY: I'm sorry, was that in dog years, Blanche?

_Blanche throws Dorothy an unimpressed look._

_The lights suddenly go out. Blanche screams._

DOROTHY: Blanche... I can't breathe! Let go!

BLANCHE: Dorothy, there aren't any storms tonight. It's the ghost of Harold Youngblood!

_A laugh sounds from the kitchen door. The lights go on. It's Sophia._

DOROTHY: Ma, do you realize you could have given us both a heart attack? What's the matter with you?!

SOPHIA: Relax, Dorothy. I was in the bathroom. It's been a hard day, really hard...

_Sophia snickers._

SOPHIA: Gee, Dorothy, you've so gullible!

_Sophia takes a seat at the table._

DOROTHY: Ma, that was no joke, you had me and Blanche scared half to death!

SOPHIA: [waves it off] Please. Your brother Phil used to really scare everyone. That was when we found out he started volunteering to buy all the women in our family feminine products. Anyway, that's not why I'm here. Rose told me to tell you she's feeling better. She'll be out soon.

DOROTHY: That's great. And no more jokes, ma, or else it's… _the home._

_Psycho music plays. Sophia freezes._

SOPHIA: Uh, I think I'll go check up on Rose now.

_She gets off the chair and goes out of the kitchen rather hurriedly._

_It's past 10 o'clock now. The girls, in their sleep wear, are seated around the table and Rose is telling a ghost story._

_Blanche is keeping herself from nodding off, her eyes rolling back in her head._

_Dorothy is nodding off in one of her hands._

_Sophia is out like a light on the counter on the stool, her bonnet covering her._

ROSE: …. Mr. Günter didn't know what it was. He just thought it_ looked_ like a really large piece of Ovaltine! And the kids thought it was just a_ really_ heavy basketball. No one could understand it. Do you know, it took Mr. Schneider to point out that it was only a Jack-O-Latern?

_Rose snorkels._

ROSE: Can you believe it? St. Olaf discovering its first Halloween?

_Dorothy snorts awake. Blanche looks up dazed._

_Sophia shoots up from the table._

SOPHIA: Is it time for Dick Van Dyke yet, Sal?

DOROTHY: No, not tonight, ma. I think you'd better get some rest. Rose is done with her ghost story.

SOPHIA: Great! Well, goodnight, everyone!

_As she gets up, a bunch of candy falls out of her dress, hitting the floor._

SOPHIA: Candy, anyone?

_She rushes off, then goes back, steels one and then runs out of the kitchen for good._

BLANCHE: I don't know about you, but the night is still young. I feel like some cheesecake.

ROSE: I'll get the plates.

DOROTHY: And I'll get the forks and napkins.

_They all get up and go to their places when the lights go out._

DOROTHY: Ma! I thought I told you no more tricks tonight!

_Silence._

BLANCHE: Come on now, Sophia, this isn't funny.

DOROTHY: Ma, we're not falling for it this time!

_Silence._

ROSE: Dorothy, I don't think Sophia _is_ here.

DOROTHY: Blanche, stop tapping me.

BLANCHE: What are you talking about? I'm not tapping you! I'm nowhere near you!

ROSE: It's not me!

_The door bell rings. They all holler. Then they calm down still rather frightened._

BLANCHE: [whispering] I think someone's at the door.

ROSE: I'm not getting it! You know what happened to me earlier!

DOROTHY: Blanche, it's your turn, you get the door this time.

BLANCHE: I got a better idea, why don't we all go get the door? Someone get the lights!

ROSE: [switching the switch up and down] Blanche, Dorothy… I think we're having a problem with the lights!

_Blanche hurries over. _

BLANCHE: You're right. It must be a power outage.

DOROTHY: There must be a flashlight somewhere under this sink. Ouch!

_Dorothy sets the flashlight on in Blanche's face._

DOROTHY: Ahhh!

BLANCHE: Ahhh!

ROSE: Ahhh!

BLANCHE: Oh, this is getting ridiculous! Gimme that!

_Blanche takes the flashlight from Dorothy._

_Sophia re-enters the kitchen._

SOPHIA: What the hell is going on out here? I leave for five minutes and the three of you are scared out of your wits! By the way, there's someone's at the door.

DOROTHY: Did you see who it was?

SOPHIA: HELL NO!

DOROTHY: Ma, once the power comes on, we are gonna have a serious talk.

SOPHIA: Ok.

Sophia pauses.

SOPHIA: If it's about why me and your father wouldn't let Phil wear his costume that one Halloween, I am not permitted talk about it!

DOROTHY: Ma, how could you take out the power? This time, you've gone too far!

SOPHIA: What the hell are you talking about, Dorothy? I've been in my room all this time!

DOROTHY: Ma, cut it out! We know it was you trying to scare us!

ROSE: I found the door. This way!

_Blanche directs the light. The doorbell rings again, this time, urgently._

BLANCHE: Oh, Dorothy you better get the door.

DOROTHY: Why me?!

ROSE: Because you look the scariest!

_Dorothy hesitates out of resentment. _

BLANCHE: Go on!

_Dorothy takes the flashlight from Blanche's hand. She counts to three before she gets the door._

DOROTHY, BLANCHE, ROSE, SOPHIA: Ahhhhhhh!

_Psycho Music._

_Miles jumps out of fright and then the lights flicker back on._

DOROTHY: Miles?

BLANCHE: Oh, sweet Jesus! Get on in here!

SOPHIA: Boy, you guys are a load of suckers!

_Rose closes the door behind Miles and they all calm themselves sitting on the couches._

MILES: I was wondering if I was coming to a residence or a haunted house! You girls gave me the scare of my life!

ROSE: It's okay, Miles. What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't make it tonight.

DOROTHY: Make it tonight?

ROSE: [turns to Dorothy] Well, I've been having some power outages in my bedroom lately and Miles said he'd dropped by tonight to see what the problem was. But he said he had some grading to do and couldn't make it tonight.

MILES: And I damned nearly fixed it, except I forgot to bring a few of the tools I'd needed. Do you know how windy it is out there now?

That's why I decided to knock. I told Rose I couldn't stay. I've got a faculty meeting in the morning.

DOROTHY: So that must've been why the power kept going out.

BLANCHE: Thank god. I was ready to put this house up for sale and high tail it out of here!

ROSE: So much for the ghost of Harold Youngblood!

SOPHIA: I'll say!

MILES: Who?

DOROTHY: Just a silly misunderstanding. Rose can tell you about it in the morning.

ROSE: Come on, miles, I'll get you a cup of tea.

_Miles and Rose head into the kitchen._

_The residence the next morning. _

_Blanches walks in from outside as Dorothy is readying the vacuum to clean up the living room._

BLANCHE: Dorothy, they reprinted the story in the paper!

DOROTHY: That's wonderful, Blanche!

BLANCHE: Yeah, they got everything straightened out. It turns out it was a huge misprint. He got his notes mixed up with another place. That boy scribbles so fast he can hardly even read his own writing!

Blanche walks over with the new article.

BLANCHE: I was adamant but respectful with him. And you know what? Everything turned out to be all right.

DOROTHY: So where did Harold actually die?

BLANCHE: It says here on page thirteen.

_Looks up at Dorothy._

Just some hotel near the beach.

DOROTHY: Now how can you mix something up like that with a personal residence?

_Blanch shrugs._

BLANCHE: Well, at least it isn't this house, Dorothy.

DOROTHY: Come on, Blanche. I know where the old woman's hiding the candy stash.

_Blanche smiles and throws the paper onto the coffee table._

_On page thirteen there's a picture of a quite familiar-looking hotel._

*MUSIC SOUNDS AND CREDITS COME ON*


End file.
